Most of us were raised on the idea that Jesus expects us to always forgive people who have done us wrong. We were taught that the only unforgivable sin was blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, which Jesus says right after He is accused of being in league with the devil. What Jesus actually said was that we receive the forgiveness we give; karma might be a similar idea – so be careful and be prepared. It is also clear that Jesus didn’t forgive everyone; in Matthew 25 He tells us that the goats – His followers who do not care for the least among us – go to hell! They call Him Lord, but that doesn’t matter; how we live our lives is at least as important to God as the words of faith we use. Saying “Jesus is Lord” is a start, but it isn’t the whole story.
As I get to know more people who have been raped and similarly abused, I have learned that forgiveness is not always mandatory. Please understand – we can forgive someone without their knowledge or their repentance. Most things in life can be forgiven. Sometimes we need to forgive others for our own peace of mind. But watching “Sins of the Amish”, and hearing their stories, I have once again been reminded that not everything is forgivable. The men and women who spoke on the steps of the Pennsylvania Capitol Building this past Monday, and in the documentary series, told us how forgiveness was and is used as a weapon, something I doubt Jesus ever intended or would have agreed with. The phrase, “It is better to ask forgiveness than to seek permission” comes to mind, and not in the way it is usually intended.
People who groom and hunt and rape children – especially those in positions of authority – are not making mistakes. They are purposefully pursuing these children, hunting them like animals. And the shocking realization that the victims are shunned for not forgiving rather than the perpetrators for their evil behavior is beyond comprehension. Their inhumanity towards the most vulnerable among us is a sickness, and they should be punished to the fullest extent of the law. Instead, the men who lead these institutions, and some of our elected officials and law enforcement officers, allow them to hide behind their church. This is happening in too many churches, and it is our shame for allowing it. Forgiveness is meant to heal our wounds, not destroy our souls. All one needs to do is listen to the pain and anger in the voices of victims to see just how deeply their suffering resides. I think that Jesus wanted us to forgive so we could have peace, not to save people or churches from embarrassment.
Forgiveness does not mean that abusers get away with their evil behavior. In fact, if they proclaim faith in God, they should accept the full punishment of the law for what they have done. And to every person who has been abused; please stop telling us you have forgiven yourself. You have done nothing wrong. You are loved. There is nothing you need to do except live your life the best you can. And we stand with you, not your abuser. We’ve got you, and God’s got you.
Prayer – Forgive us, God, if we have forced people in pain to play nice with the evil people who have caused them pain. You know their hearts and will deal with each one of us accordingly. Amen.
Today’s art is “Healing Hands by Ann Radley.