“Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” That is towards the end of the Beatitudes in Matthew 5, and it has always been, for me, one of the hardest sayings of Jesus. The truth is that the Blessed Sayings are all difficult, especially for the Western world, because we understand God’s blessings to be things like victory, financial prosperity, and happiness; all things that the version of these saying in Luke 6 say are causes for sadness. To be blessed because people revile us, though, seems to be on an entirely different level than the others. To be reviled is to be abused and attacked out of hatred for who you are as a person. It goes far beyond dislike.
My observation of people who are hateful is that it isn’t really about the object of their hate being wrong; it’s about the hater’s fear and self-loathing. How many times have we seen crusaders against something turn out to be that very thing? How many moralistic people have we seen go down in flames after they’ve been outed for their hypocrisy? It is always a sign that there is something very wrong when someone is so zealous in their attacks that they become vile and condemning. When they hate you, it’s really because they hate themselves. They are their own enemy, and they make you their enemy too. It doesn’t make their hate any less hurtful, though. Hate hurts.
Which leads to another one of Jesus’s most difficult sayings; to love our enemy. When I see someone who has been the victim of a hate crime turn around and forgive the perpetrator of that crime, I am in awe. It doesn’t matter whether that forgiveness comes from duty; it is still hard to imagine. It is also something I have never had to do; I, like most people, don’t really have any enemies to love. We are lucky in that way; we haven’t been tested yet (and I hope I never will be!) For those who have, though, it is torment. And not necessarily something they have to forgive.
It is important to notice in all of this that Jesus never told anyone they had to like everyone. I have met a lot of unlikeable people, so I am glad about this. And, I am sure, there are lots of people who haven’t liked me. I think it would be impossible for us to think everyone we meet is great; if we are honest with ourselves, we would all probably admit that there are traits we find unlikeable, and that might never change. I can, however, love someone as a child of God, even if I don’t like them. I can see that they have some positive attributes that would make them likable to others. That may be the best I can do.
When they hate you, try not to take it personally, as hard as that is to actually do. Consider their lives – consider how much their hatred of you and self must be destroying them on the inside – and pray for them. Pray for healing and comfort and self-love. Pray that they will resolve their inner demons and turn around. Don’t let their hate turn you into a hater too. Hate only hurts the hater. You are fine. And don’t let their hate cause you pain and suffering. Nobody deserves that.
Prayer – It is easier said than done God, and we struggle with our own concerns when we don’t like someone. Help us to love people in spite of our differences. Help us to be strong in our own search for wholeness. Give us peace. Amen.