Last week I had the privilege to have lunch with the teenagers who were attending the LGBT Center’s camp being held in our building. It is such a privilege because I understand just how badly folks in this community have been treated by the church, and I do not take for granted the trust they give to me, believing I won’t mess it up. What I usually do in this situation is tell them about myself and my journey of growing in my understanding about sexuality and gender, and then I open it up for questions. Yes – I actually tell them to ask me anything they want about religion and Scripture. The result is always amazing – and a bit startling.
There were a lot of great questions; many of these kids have obviously been raised in some kind of religious community and/or home. One question, though, is at the center of this thought. A couple of the kids made sure I was straight (the earring threw some of them off), and then one girl asked me a two-part question. Why do you care and why are you here? I was brought back to over 30 years ago in Cincinnati, when the pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church, which was housed in an Episcopal Church down the street, joined my United Methodist congregation (he had been kicked out of the UMC for being gay). We would preach for each other when we went away since our services were at different times. After his church’s service, two men came up to me and asked the same question; if you are straight, why are you here, and why do you care?
My answer in 1992 was the same as the one I gave last Friday; because I am really smart, and I choose to not be an ignorant jerk. I say the first part because I read a lot and try to understand; I remain curious about things I don’t know much about. The second part may seem insulting to others, but it is really about forming opinions after reading and listening, rather than out of a place of bigotry and baggage. We are all formed by our families of origin, our communities, and our religious upbringing. I wasn’t raised to be open-minded; I was formed by the same cultural influences that most of us over 50 were. I have had to listen and think and admit that I was taught the wrong things. I have had to revisit Scripture and try to make a dent in the armor of hate that protects so many people from thinking. I got to know – really know – people who were different from me; it is almost always true that once we do this, we change.
I know lots of people who have taken this journey; I am thankful for their good company. I have had great teachers along the way as well, people who patiently helped me when I used the wrong word or didn’t consider the many factors that go into understanding something new. It isn’t that hard to do; we need to read, listen, think, understand, take a step back, and grow beyond where we have been. And we have to not be an ignorant jerk. There’s already way too much of that going around. To be a better place, the world needs more thinking and feeling, and less kneejerk reactions.
Prayer – Help each one of us to transcend our biases God; the world needs more understanding people. Amen