It is my favorite REM song; a song about loneliness and suffering and hope that tells the listener to hold on. We all go through this kind of thing – we all suffer, sometimes. Take comfort in your friends and hang in there; things will get better, eventually. It is one of the things that all of us have in common – we all suffer. We all experience loss. We all feel lost and sad and alone. And we all need each other. This may be why so many people go to church to hear happy stories, and when they leave challenged, it upsets them. While being comforted is part of being a person of faith, being challenged is as well. Even when we hurt; maybe, especially when we hurt, we need to be shown that others are hurting too.
I am hurting now, just like you. I am watching Palestinians and Jews suffering under the burden of terrorism. I am hurting as I see people supporting the source of that pain in the form of Hamas. I am hurting as we watch the war of terror being waged by Russia against Ukraine; it feels endless. I am hurting as I see people losing jobs, losing loved ones, and losing hope. It may be a small comfort to know that all of us have been where you are, but it is true: everybody hurts, sometimes. We all have childhood trauma – we all have challenges in our relationships – we all have made mistakes that have changed our lives. Hold on. Don’t give up.
The America I grew up in told me to keep things private; don’t let on in public – even in church – that you are hurting. Put on a happy face and struggle alone. The America I live in today has gone the opposite direction, one in which rage and hatred seem to be daily occurrences. And religious communities? Some have worked diligently to be places where we can bear each other’s hurts and victories, just like the Apostle Paul told us we should. My own theology has moved to a place that sees the suffering and death of Jesus as acts of violence against Him perpetrated by the Empire, not God. He suffered just like us. He laughed and cried and loved and got frustrated just like us. Jesus had His own hurts – just like us. It wasn’t part of God’s plan – it was humanity failing.
So, maybe REM’s simple answer is a good beginning: hold on. Take comfort in your friends. Even if you feel like you are alone – even if nobody seems to notice your pain – remember that everybody else is hurting too, and their own stories might be occupying their energy. It doesn’t mean they don’t care; we all do. If you aren’t feeling the joy right now, don’t worry – much of what passes for Christmas is phony secularism anyway. Call your friends and family and tell them you need to hear a friendly voice. Go to worship and laugh and cry and feel. You are not alone. Everybody hurts. But it will get better.
Prayer – Thank You God for the holy gifts of this time of year and thank You for giving us grace when aren’t feeling all of it. Your comfort and understanding helps. Amen.