One of my ongoing jokes – and I have many – is saying “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.” If you were alive in the 1980’s you might recognize this as the tagline for Pantene. I always thought it was a ridiculously fake idea, but it seemed to work well for their product line. Anyway, I said this recently in a conversation with some people and one of them (she wasn’t alive in the 80’s) was offended. She said it was an arrogant thing to say and no matter how much I and the others in the conversation tried to explain that it was a joke, her righteous indignation could not be placated. It seems that my tongue-in-cheek delivery is not discernably humorous to everyone. Her response did make me think, however, about the effect this phrase might have had on the culture at the time. Is it possible that this line helped create the culture of arrogance and self-centeredness we live in today? Did some, if not many, people take this idea so seriously that it destroyed their sense of humility? And why are we so hung up on these false definitions of beauty anyway (that last one is for another day)?
There is a difference between having a strong ego and being egotistical. A strong ego allows us to persevere when others doubt our abilities. Egotism can make false claims about one’s capabilities while diminishing other people. A mature ego can be an ingredient for a strong foundation focused on hard work and a healthy self-esteem. Egotistical people are hiding behind their self-loathing and fear. We can believe in ourselves and still have a healthy sense of humility and appreciation for others, but an egotistical person cannot admit that any other person is as amazing as he or she is.
When I was doing my doctoral work at United Theological Seminary in Dayton in the 1990s, the main focus of my work was that teaching the ethics of Jesus could help children see their self-worth because they were made in the image of God. This was a time when educators and parents were told that high self-esteem was the answer to the world’s problems. It wasn’t, but neither is the sense of loathing that is so often central to religious teaching. Teaching children that they are unworthy – unless they accept Jesus – can only lead to their rejecting Him or accepting that they are pitiful creatures buried by original sin. It also teaches them that non-Christians – or people who are different – are not worthy of God’s love or human respect. This theological arrogance is dangerous and wrong. And it has infected the larger church.
If we are all made in God’s image, we are all amazing and blessed. If we can’t see that beauty in others, we will treat them as inferior and expendable. So, go on with your bad self – you are, indeed, a work of art. And so is everyone else. To believe otherwise is not a God-thing.
Prayer – Thank You, God, for making each one of us in Your image. Inspire us to treat each other that way as well. Amen.
Today’s art is “God is an Artist” by Jim Warren.