Last night, a number of us from Calvary attended Safe Berks’s “Celebration of Peace”, an annual event meant to open hearts and minds and wallets to support their work against domestic violence in every form. I have been involved with this amazing organization for 25 years; I was introduced to its work by Louise Grim, an active Calvary member and one of the founding mothers of the original organization, Berks Women in Crisis. In that time, I have raised money, served on the board, worked on committees, helped at summer camp, and done everything possible to make people aware of their inspiring work and desperate needs. Their mission is personal to me, so I care deeply that they succeed.
Our speaker this year was Troy Vincent, former Philadelphia Eagle’s superstar and current Executive VP in the NFL. His story about his growing up, his wife’s experiences, and the abuse his children lived through (at the hands of others) was incredibly moving. His message was broad and, at the same time, focused; women can’t stop domestic violence and rape on their own – men need to do their part. Men are the vast majority of the problem; we can be a huge force in the solution. We need to witness to the world that we are committed to the cause. We need to speak up and stand up – we need to confront the evil of sexual violence and misogyny.
It isn’t easy to be a witness; perpetrators can be scary. They breathe threats and lies and excuses; they intimidate and bully. Troy spent a lot of time playing in a sport filled with testosterone, bravado, violence, and sexism. The NFL and its teams are trying to change, but they have often been complicit in coverups and excuses. The teams hyper-sexualize cheerleaders, dressing them in skimpy outfits, and the league makes money from advertisers who portray men and women as cartoonish stereotypes. A lot of men still view women as inferior to them, and they often try to control women’s bodies and minds with archaic and immature restrictions and rules. If you don’t view someone as your equal, it is easy to treat them as a thing. Grow up, people.
We men need to be powerful witnesses against those who perpetrate this kind of abuse. In fact, we need to call it what it is – evil. We need to lift our voices to support organizations like Safe Berks; we need to speak truth to the rich and powerful to fund this work. We need to confront politicians who would rather build bombs than save lives. We need to nurture boys and young men in ways that create mature people, not jerks. The demeaning jokes – the catcalls – the false religious doctrines – all of them need to be called out for what they are; fruits of insecurity and weakness and ignorance. Mr. Vincent helped Safe Berks raise a lot of money, but it isn’t enough. Our state and federal programs are cutting back funding for domestic violence, and families are suffering – women and children are dying. Do you have an extra $100 or $1000 or $10 to spare? Send it to Safe Berks, or an organization in your area. Every penny counts. Be a witness, not a coward. Have one less latte and save a life.
Prayer – Holy God, forgive us for anything we have done to hurt others. Help all of us to grow up and treat each other with respect and dignity. Heal those who are broken. Amen.
Safe Berks address is 255 Chestnut St, Reading, PA 19602 – their website is Safe Berks | Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault Support Services.
Today’s art is “Trust your path” by Gioia Albano.