Nex Benedict was a 16-year-old nonbinary high school student in Oklahoma who died after an incident of abuse in a bathroom at school on February 7th. The police say it wasn’t murder, but her family is convinced it was. Three girls attacked her that day and beat the crap out of her. This was the last time in a long series of attacks, both verbal and physical, that Nex suffered. Why? For a lot of reasons. They were bullied to death because they chose to be who they felt they were inside, and this made other students angry. Neither male nor female, as the Apostle Paul wrote. No police report was filed until the family made a report after taking Nex to the hospital. We don’t know all the details yet, but when no report is filed by the school or the police, I begin to get suspicious. The superintendent of Oklahoma Public Schools, Ryan Walters, has been staunchly anti-LGBTQ since taking the position. The rot begins from the top.
Nex was bullied to death, and Nex isn’t the first, nor will Nex be the last. If we are honest about bullying, we would admit that almost every kid is bullied, and many have been a bully to others at some time in their life. My children were bullied – my wife and I were bullied as kids – our parents were probably bullied, although they never talked about it. In a high school wrestling room where I volunteered, I confronted three boys who were bullying a teammate. They were shocked, proclaiming loudly that they weren’t bullying him – he was their friend! No, I told them; this fits the definition of bullying, and friends don’t do that. Only enemies. Only insecure children. Only jerks.
Words hurt, and bullies know it. Fists hurt more. People bully because they are weak, shallow, fragile, and jealous. They bully because they have been bullied. They bully because they are told that bullying is acceptable. They bully because they are cruel and have the power to get away with it. Oklahoma is a state that has normalized bullying LGBTQ people, and they are not the only state to have done this. In Pennsylvania, you can still fire someone or refuse them a rental apartment based on sexual orientation and gender. There are states that have not only denied gender-affirming care for minors but for adults as well. Just as they have criminalized abortion. There is a pattern here. At the root of it, these bullies use God as their excuse. But God is not a bully. In fact, God gets angry when people bully others. After all, Jesus was bullied and put to death by a few religious fanatics and the fascist government of Rome.
There have always been bullies, and I am afraid this will not change. What can change is the rest of us calling them out. Making their actions and words punishable. Training our teachers to see the signs and call them on it. Bolstering our court systems so bullies get what they deserve. And providing safe spaces where bullying is never acceptable. My church is one of those places, and so is the LGBT Center of Reading, which shares our space. If your house of worship isn’t safe, you should find one that is, because bullying hurts all of us. And it hurts God.
Prayer – Holy God, we know that You are not a bully, no matter how often some of Your followers say You are. Give us the courage to lift our voices in support of anyone who is bullied. Help us to be a refuge for those who are hurting. Amen.
Today’s art is an animated sculpture by George Redhawk.