We are taught to compete from the time we are very small. Children want to please their parents – parents want their children to succeed – dogs get treats for following commands – only cats are exempt. They just wait for their servants to wait on them. The rest of us are raised to strive, to win, and to be our very best. There’s nothing wrong with this; competition is, allegedly, at the core of capitalism, which, I am told, is what has made ours the greatest economy in history. Well, that and colonialism. Another time for that one. Seriously, though, learning to work hard and be our best teaches us how to win, and winning isn’t just everything, Vince told us; it’s the only thing. Except when it isn’t. Sometimes winning comes at a great cost – maybe too great a cost.
Don’t misunderstand me; I am a very competitive person, and I love to win. Ask my family – don’t play Slamwich with me or you might lose a hand. And absolutely don’t get on a wrestling mat with me; I will do everything in my power to crush you, body and soul. Okay, just body – your soul is your problem. I have lost plenty of times in plenty of ways, but I have never been happy about it. I am also a good loser – I admit when someone has bested me, and I respect their abilities. Unless they cheat. Which happens way too often in American life; people cheat all the time, sometimes without even knowing it. People with advantages over others – economic, social – you name it – often have a head start over those who are disadvantaged.
The truth is that life doesn’t have to be win/lose; it can be win/win. The Apostle Paul wrote that when one person succeeds, all succeed; when one person mourns, all mourn. I can succeed at life and cheer others on to succeed as well. People who live only by a win/lose mentality are often immature and selfish; they don’t feel like winners unless others lose. I am not talking about the ridiculous trend of participation trophies that was so prevalent 20 years ago; that always seemed condescending and demeaning to me. There are benefits to learning how to win and lose gracefully. What I am talking about is success in life. Not everyone has parents with enough money to send them to college or vocational school; some people need more help than family can provide. It benefits all of us if those folks are given a chance to succeed. You don’t have to lose in life for me to feel like a winner; I don’t have to get credit for someone else to benefit.
What people who win at any cost don’t understand is that selfishness destroys the soul. Narcissism brings about deterioration and despair. Grudges and vendettas hurt everyone involved. After years of partisan politics and growing disparity between the haves and have nots and meaningless competition, we need to grow up. We can all win if we do this the right way; if we recognize that we are always stronger together. Living only for oneself is destructive and counterproductive. As far as I can tell, the status quo is turning us all into losers. I would like to see what it would be like for all of us to win.
Prayer – God, Your words tell us that we need each other to be truly whole. We need to love You, ourselves, and others to fulfill Your desires. Help us to reach those win/win goals. Amen.
Today’s art is an abstract by J. Boyer.