Like so many of us, I belong to a number of on-line groups on different platforms. I was in a United Methodist Clergy group – had a lot of friends from the past in it – but when they realized I was no longer UMC, they kicked me out. Okay, whatever. I have only chosen to leave two other groups – a group for Lutheran clergy, and Don’t Forget that Jewish Lives Matter. Today’s truth is this: if you want to ruin your credibility, claim to be a person of faith, but act like a jerk. I’m not talking about the “I’m having a bad day” kind of jerkiness that we all experience once in a while; I’m talking about the mean-spirited, condescending behavior that tells the world you just aren’t all that great at getting along with others. This is what I experienced in both of these groups; not the majority, but enough to make it a bad experience.
It isn’t that I don’t like a good argument; I am always up for spirited debate. In fact, don’t try to give me “because I (or God, or whoever) said so” for an answer – them’s fightin’ words! I do a lot of my own research, and I learn from people every day, so while changing my mind isn’t easy, it is always a possibility. No – in these two groups, there were just too many mean and inappropriately caustic people bullying everyone else on the platform. I will respect your willingness to go to the mat for what you believe – and the wrestling imagery is dear to my heart – but you will lose my respect if you denigrate my opinion because it is different from yours. Like people who make up nasty names for political opponents, you will show me who you really are by what you say and do and how you react to what I say and do. Knowing your truth is one thing; forcing it down my throat while disrespecting mine is another. You might believe you are doing this out of love, but love should never hurt. You aren’t coming from a place of concern – you are coming from a place of self-righteousness.
I will respect and defend your right to believe what you believe, but the truth is that when you don’t give others the same respect, you have ruined your credibility. This unevenness is, I think, at the center of our national discord. Our out of balance rhetoric is forcing us into the deep end without a flotation device. No side of any discussion is 100% pure and true; we all have our biases. The person you didn’t vote for isn’t always wrong, nor is the one you voted for always right. When I disagree with someone, I try really hard to breathe and step back, because not doing so can allow me to demonize those I disagree with. Speak your truth – be who you are – but just make sure you have the facts, not your opinions, right. Then, listen to what I have to say. That might help all of us get along.
Prayer – Holy God, only You know the truth. The rest of us are flailing around, searching for answers. Help us to grow up enough to hear Your voice. Amen.
Today’s art is “Disagreement” by Gregory Gobla.