I thought I would put you in a happy mood with my title today. These are two subjects I have written about before because they are, and always have been, a big part of what I do vocationally. I have done over 600 funerals and have made thousands of visits to nursing and retirement homes since I was 24 years old. In an age and death-denying culture, I have seen the reality of both over and over. And no matter how much you do to stay healthy – and there are lots of important ways to make sure we age well – one thing is true; in the end, we all die. All of us want that to happen in a certain way, but from my experience, this isn’t often the case.
There is a difference between age-denying and age-defying. I don’t plan to go quietly, but I hope to go gracefully. Why are we so afraid of admitting that we are getting older? I will admit that it feels good when someone tells me I look younger than I am, and we should all do our best to make sure we age well, but ageism is alive and kicking, and the culture is telling us it isn’t a good thing to get older. We have bought into the John Cougar Mellencamp lyric all too easily. “So, I call up my preacher I say, “Give me strength for Round 5.” He said, “You don’t need no strength, you need to grow up son.” I said, “Growing up leads to growing old and then to dying. And dying to me don’t sound like all that much fun.” No – it never is fun when a loved one dies. But it is inevitable. And for followers of Jesus, it is just a step towards another life.
I am not immune to sadness when someone dies. It doesn’t matter how old a loved one is when they die, it is a hard thing to go through. Most of us would agree that a good death is one where the person has lived a long, productive life, and love was part of that person’s existence, and they lived well and did good. None of us wants to end up in a nursing facility, but too many do. We have fine-tuned our biological machines so well that we are, often, living too long. At least, that’s what we feel. Me, I embrace every year with joy, because it beats the alternative. No matter how long we inhabit this body, we need hopes and dreams. We need to learn and experience new things. We need to have parts of our lives that make us smile and bring us joy and give us a reason to get up every morning.
And if your life doesn’t have all of that, the only choice you have is to change your life. Find people to help. Connect with a faith community that is making the world a better place. Defy aging stereotypes and find purpose. JCM was right – growing up leads to growing old. Keep a little Peter Pan in your heart. The world is waiting.
Prayer – Holy God, life is beautiful and short. Help us to make the most of it by loving You, each other, and ourselves. Amen.
Today’s art is from a series of postcards by a Finnish artist/gardener named Inge Löök. The series is called “Merry Aunties.”