I was not taught to be humble, which has its pitfalls. On the one hand, I was able to develop a strong sense of self and a healthy ego. On the other hand, sometimes that sense of self turns into egotistical behavior, which is unhealthy. I was, however, taught humility. For me, humility is how we see ourselves in relation to God and others; the commandment to love God with all you have, and neighbor as self, allows us to be in a relationship. Humility is necessary for us to have a real sense of what equality is, and I learned early in my life that all people, no matter what they do or what they have, are worthy of respect. One of the reasons I rejected Original Sin at an early age is that Original Sin is an overreaction to human imperfection, teaching us to hate who we are. We have St. Augustine to thank (reject?) for that.
Self-loathing is destructive and demeaning, and too often can find its way into the world through bad behavior and abuse, whether to others or to oneself. When we hate ourselves and who we truly are, we react by hating others. I am thinking about all the political and religious leaders who have lashed out at LGBTQ people, only to learn that they themselves were part of that broad group. When we are taught to hate that which God made us to be, we end up being self-destructive, and that behavior finds its way into every relationship. A little bit of guilt goes a long way; a lot of guilt and shame turns our core selves rotten.
Self-loathing is particularly problematic when people in power suffer from it. Like Uncle Ben said to Peter Parker in Spiderman, “With great power comes great responsibility.” “Power tends to corrupt,” Lord Acton said, “absolute power corrupts absolutely.” People with a lot of power have sway over the lives of those with less power, and how that power is used truly matters. When a leader cares about self and wealth more than fairness and justice, mayhem and suffering ensue. We can see this abuse of power everywhere, can’t we?
We all have self-doubt and can suffer from imposter syndrome, which, like guilt, isn’t terrible in tiny doses. A little bit keeps us honest and careful, making sure we don’t delude ourselves about our own imagined perfection. It is our conscience telling us to measure twice before cutting once. A healthy ego allows us to stay balanced; self-loathing lashes out and destroys anything or anyone that disagrees with our delusion. Season everything with salt, the Apostle Paul told the followers of Jesus – question and test everything. Then act, for the good of all. Self-loathing people care only about themselves. Spiritually/emotionally/psychologically healthy people care about others. We need mature people making decisions for us, don’t you think?
Prayer – Holy God, You have given each one of us the possibility to do great good or great evil. Guide us to choose wisely. Amen.
Today’s art “Fear and Loathing” by Ale Giorgini.