I used to joke with my non-Protestant friends that Jews have shame, Catholics have guilt, and Protestants have regret – when we are caught. I think the truth is that all of us should have some sense of conscience that informs our behavior. We should feel guilty about what we have actually done that is wrong, not what we might do wrong. It may be that pre-emptive guilt works, but I haven’t seen much proof of that. It seems that fear works best, as shown in the popularity of Santa’s retribution if you behave badly or the Elf on the Shelf’s undercover spying. I find both of those practices to be abhorrent.
This past Sunday, while visiting my son, I attended a United Methodist Church in the south part of Charlotte, NC. I went there after finding that the UCC churches were too far away, and that most of the UMC churches, which are legion in this area, have either joined the new fundamentalist side or maybe should. This church is a Lighthouse Congregation, a brilliant move of grace by the UMC to let people know that a congregation will welcome sojourners searching for a welcoming, inclusive place. I liked the experience; the church, in its format, was very much like an evangelical service, but the message was one that you might hear if you came to my church.
And yet, while the songs we sang were very melodic, there were a lot of messages about shame in the lyrics. I sat there thinking that, while I need to repent about the things I have done wrong, my mistakes are not enough to cause me shame. Shame is a loaded word, one that makes me think about the messages too many people get about their sexuality or body or mental illness. Shame is, by definition, humiliation or distress. In pastoral conversations, I have seen shame debilitate people’s lives. They are so racked with shame and guilt that they can’t love themselves, much less anyone else. We are not lowly worms – we are not base, vile creatures – we are beautiful, flawed people made in the image of God. A little guilt – our conscience – can go a long way to make us think twice, but shame? I don’t see any good in that kind of self-loathing. If God loves us, we have nothing to be ashamed about.
Prayer – Thank You God for releasing us from our self-doubt. May our lives be a reflection of Your love. Amen.
Today’s art is “Shame” by Rosa Gunasingha.