Next week we begin Lent with Ash Wednesday services at Calvary at Noon and 7pm. Then, for the next five weeks, we will have Lenten Soup Suppers from 6-7pm. We eat for 30 minutes, then we talk for 30 minutes. I am using a wonderful book titled, “Hear Us Out: Six Questions on Belonging and Belief.” In the second chapter, the authors quote a pastor (Grant Skeldon) who wrote a book about millennials who no longer attend church, and his research found that there are four main reasons for their absence: People are 1 – Judgmental (87%), 2 – Hypocritical (85%), 3 – Anti-Homosexual/LGBTQ (91%), and 4 – Insensitive to others (70%). Today, and for the next 3 thoughts, I want to consider these four areas. First – Judgment.
When I was a freshman at Wilmington College (Ohio), I was hired by a large United Methodist Church about half an hour away to work with the youth. In spite of my age and lack of skills, I accepted because, to be honest, I was broke and needed the money. As a poor kid, I didn’t have much in the way of clothes, but I did my best, wearing nice jeans that were in good shape. I found out that a large number of church members were complaining about my attire, saying it wasn’t dressy enough (this was a fancy church). The Associate Pastor stuck up for me, but her words were not enough to calm the complainers down. I finished out the year and didn’t go back. Their judgment left a bad taste in my mouth and almost drove me away from the church.
47 years later, I see this kind of nonsense in churches everywhere. I even put together a workshop called “What if the Church Were Kinder?” During the conversations, I ask people to share their stories of judgment and meanness in the church, and it is overwhelmingly 4 to 1, Mean Vs. Kind. It isn’t always with words; sometimes, it only takes a disinterested look or a dismissive gesture. Allowing people to sit alone during worship – not welcoming someone you don’t recognize – looking past a visitor to welcome a friend – so many micro- and macro-aggressions that send the message that someone is not welcome. I have worked hard with my congregation to fix some of those unseen judgments, but it is still a struggle. What if we treated the pew we sit in like it was our home, and the people there as our invited, welcomed guests? What if we really thought about how hard it is for many people to walk into a strange place for the first time? What if we stopped worrying about insignificant things like clothes, tattoos, and skin color, and met each person as if they were Jesus?
Judgment is a choice. So is a loving welcome. We need to choose wisely.
Prayer – Holy God, You have welcomed us into Your family. Help us to do the same for others. Amen.
Today’s art is “The Welcoming Hands Sculpture” by Louise Bourgeois.