Finding Healing in an Ending

We have heard the statistics about marriage for 50 years, clucking our tongues and making quick judgments about how they must have ended and why the couples didn’t do enough to save their relationship. What went wrong? What did he/she do? It is too easy to get divorced! Over my years in ministry, I have heard the stories, and I will tell you that each one is unique. It is almost never 100% one-sided and it is always tragic. One woman, decades ago, told me that her divorce was like a death she relived every day. She and her ex had two children, and they tried to make their lives as palatable as possible. She admitted that she had made mistakes along the way; she wouldn’t talk about what her husband had done. Their ending was the beginning of healing for her and, it seemed to me, her children too.

It is too easy to try to find simplistic reasons for the times we have lost something precious to us. As I found out this winter when I was ill, lots of people want to blame the person who is suffering. We want answers that will explain how what has happened to them will not happen to us. We saw this during the pandemic; so many “healthy” people judging people who got sick based on their size or life choices. I’ve got news for you – a lot of really healthy people also got sick and died from Coronavirus-related illnesses. There was – and still is – no simple answer. This is one of the last acceptable areas of judgmental attitudes that still exists.

You know the old adage, that assuming makes an A** out of you and me. None of us knows everything that is going on in people’s lives, and to jump to conclusions based on limited information not only makes the jumper look ignorant, but it can also end friendships. It might be better to take a breath and reach out to hold their hand – sometimes, we need comfort to get us through the moment. It might be better to take them out for coffee than base their story on what we have heard – sometimes, people don’t tell the truth. For many of us, endings are the beginning of healing, and as painful as that ending might be, life goes on, and we can find healing and wholeness. Maybe we would be better off being compassionate than judgmental, so we can be part of the healing, and not the pain.

Prayer – Holy God, You have created us with the ability to heal or hurt – may we choose the path to healing. Amen.

Today’s art is “The Healing” by Liz Caires

Categories

Subscribe!