I remember when Pres. Jimmy Carter told Playboy magazine that he had lusted in his heart. The world was shocked! Here was this born-again, Bible study teaching Southern Baptist admitting that he had succumbed to one of the 7 Deadly Sins. I had never thought much about the difference between love and lust until that point, so, of course, I began to wonder what the big deal was. Was it wrong to look at girls and have sexual thoughts? Did my “impure” thoughts make me a bad person? I saw just how much bad behavior was related to sex and I began to understand why lust was a problem. But how was it different from attraction? Hormones are a crazy problem for all of us, it seems.
We live in a culture that sends us mixed messages about sex in general. On the one hand, we hear all about the dangers of it from different religious ideologies, telling us that pre-marital sex or non-heterosexual activity will send us to hell. Jesus told His followers that lusting after someone (Matthew 5) is the same as committing adultery. On the other hand, we are (let’s be honest) a pornographic culture; everything, it seems, is sold to us by appealing to and using sex. Lust is coveting, one of the big 10 no-nos for Jews and Christians, and it is often compared to idol-worship. Girls and women (but not boys and men- curious) are often shamed for the clothing they wear, accused of being too provocative. Most religions have sects that control the way girls and women dress (but not boys and men – again, curious), so as not to get the males overly excited. Only females, it seems, have to have self-control.
For me, the difference between love and lust matters. Love often begins with attraction, while lust is all about control. That control finds its way into every part of our lives; we see it being used to create laws that limit the rights of women and LGBTQ people. This control is touted by conservative men as “traditional” family values. It exists in wedding vows that keep men as men but change women to wives. It is lived out in double-standards that create false gender roles that trap all of us. Love and attraction are healthy aspects of relationships; lust is all about domination. This is why, I think, Jesus was concerned about it. And why we should be, too.
Prayer – Holy God, You have created us to desire one another in healthy ways. Help us to remember that each one of us is made in Your image and are equals in every way. Amen.
Today’s art is by an abstract by Stephen Lursen.