Early in the pandemic, I wrote about attending an AA meeting as the guest of a member of the church I was serving, Andover UMC (NJ). Once a year, that group allowed attendees to bring someone for their celebration of getting a new sobriety coin, and she chose me – it was quite an honor! We sat in the circle, and each person introduced themselves by first name, followed by, “I am an alcoholic.” When they got to me, I didn’t know what to say, so I said, “My name is Steve, and I am a sinner.” They responded by saying, “Hi Steve” and we moved on. My church member thanked me for saying that, and I didn’t think much of it until many years later. I was evolving in my understanding of people who were different from me and was also trying to read about new discoveries being made in how the brain worked, genetics, and all that goes into making us who we are.
Addiction has, for too long, been seen as a moral failure. If you have enough self-control, or you can stick to the program and not give up, you can beat that demon rum. Research tells us otherwise; addiction is a disease much like others, and it also has a genetic predisposition, like eye color or left-handedness. Like all genetics, it isn’t math – siblings can have different hair color or be different heights but still have the same parents. Similar to gender and sexuality, there are no perfect ways to know what your kids will be. As a woman said to me years ago, almost every gay person she knew had heterosexual parents – like her. I stopped thinking about addiction as a sin, which produces shame, and started thinking of it as an illness that needs medical care. I don’t mean to say that people with addiction shouldn’t seek help – like high blood pressure or cancer, it is something can cause great harm. But a sin? No.
We love to blame people for their illness or genetics – we love to point fingers at those who don’t match our definition of normal – a terrible word that should rarely be used. Like saying that people are “regular” or “average”; I don’t know anyone who is regular or average. I only know unique individuals who all have something in their lives they wish was better. Is it a sin to struggle with addiction? Is it a sin to be a transgender person? Is it a sin to be overweight or left-handed or follicly depleted (that’s bald for you neophytes). I would say no to all those questions. It is sinful to be greedy – or abusive – or a bigot – or a murderer. But to be who God made us to be? No. We need to change the conversation towards healing, not blame. Point your fingers at the real sinners.
Prayer – Holy God, we are all created in Your image, and we are all uniquely flawed. Help us to find ways of healing. Amen.