I remember that moment when the dam broke loose on television and profanity entered the lexicon. It wasn’t a big word, or a necessarily foul word (it was @$$), but it was used profusely. Our son was 3, and we were watching Friends together, when all of the sudden, that word got used at least 4 times in one show. This is mild, of course, when we consider the way profanity has flourished in public over the years, but in the late 1990’s, it was shocking. Well, we said, no more Friends as a family – which was too bad, because our son really liked that show. And I know that they are just words, but they aren’t necessarily good words. In fact, most profanity is used in anger, in my experience. Or as negative descriptions.
Words matter. We all know that, and most of us work hard to develop vocabularies that are interesting and useful. I tell kids that I don’t use profanity because there are actual words to describe what those words describe, so I use them. I also know that a lot of people are uncomfortable with profanity – like me – so I try to be respectful of them. And when someone uses that kind of language around me, they always apologize when they realize what I do for a living, like I’ve never heard those words before. Still, I appreciate the respect. But the old adage about sticks and stones isn’t true – words can hurt us. Like piggy – or loser – or nasty.
I like to use my words to make people feel appreciated – thank you and please go a long way, especially when used by children in our care. Words of gratefulness tell people that they are seen – that their service and hard work means something. Harsh words, of course, do the opposite; they tell people how little we think about them and, maybe, ourselves. And all those studies that say people who use profanity are smarter than average? Whatever – if you’re that smart, you could probably find better words to express how you are feeling. What we say and how we say tells others who we are on the inside – they tell them what matters to us. So, share a good word with the next person you greet – especially if they do something wrong to you. They won’t know what hit them, but you will – because you turned the other cheek. And you used your words.
Prayer – Your words, O God, speak to us and mold us and guide us. May we use them for good in the world. Amen.