It isn’t wrong to be afraid. We half joke about how we, as kids in the 1970’s and earlier, used to leave home on a Saturday morning and wander around until it was time to go home for dinner, and our parents would barely know we were gone. A lot of us got into trouble or got hurt, this is true, but we somehow lived to tell the stories. When my wife and I were raising our kids (born in the mid-90’s), we were constantly on guard, afraid to let them walk down the street alone. We were constantly afraid that they would be kidnapped, or something else terrible would happen to them. Why? Because it happens, and it destroys your life. It isn’t wrong to be afraid, but it seems that we are more afraid than generations before us.
I would never discount a person being afraid; I have known too many people who have gone through terrible situations, and their fears, sadly, turned out to be very real. The truth about the things we fear, however, is that the incidence of most of the things we fear has not increased – in some ways, it has lessened. This doesn’t make it any less real when something terrible happens, but it seems to me that living with more and more fear is damaging to our psyches and our souls. Fear also produces cortisol, which increases anxiety. This article gives a more in-depth explanation than I could ever attempt (Cortisol and Anxiety: The Connection Explained – Biology Insights).
It isn’t wrong to be afraid, but allowing fear to control us is exhausting! We can’t live in a bubble and we can’t stay inside; at some point, we need to learn how to manage our fear and live our lives. Terrible things have, are, and will always happen, so being careful and aware is important. We will always have some level of fear in our lives; but we also need to find ways to live beyond our fear. 1 John 4: 18 tells us, “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear; for fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not reached perfection in love.” While this idea – that we can be perfect in love – is an old John Wesley concept that I find problematic, there is wisdom in this passage. Love helps us handle our fears in ways that hatred can’t. Love gives us hope – hate creates more fear. I’m not afraid of hateful people as much as I am sad for them. Can they behave badly? Sure – but their hatred is based in fear, and their fear has many sources. We can’t hate them for their hate – we need to love them in spite of it. And be wise as serpents, but gentle as doves, just like Jesus said. Maybe, like us, they will respond to love and be less afraid. And less hateful. And less alone.
Prayer – Holy God, we all get afraid, and we all worry. Soothe our hearts and minds and give us times of rest from our fears. Amen.
Today’s art is “Fear” by Corneliu Baba.