I was sitting in choir practice in the little church I served in Andover, NJ in the late 1980’s and we were all talking about the piece of music we had just finished rehearsing. One of the sopranos, a woman about 30 years older than me, commented that she was having a really difficult time reaching one of the high notes. I said – since I sat right behind her – that if she needed me to, I would goose her when the note came around. A gasp came from a couple of the women – all about the same age as the soprano – and I was confused by their shock. It turned out that saying you would goose someone in that rural part of the state had sexual connotations! I was shocked and apologized immediately; I had grown up with that phrase meaning to tickle or poke your finger in someone’s side. We all laughed about it and went on with rehearsal, but you can be sure that I never used the term again.
I thought of this last week as I watched the kerfuffle over the term “86”; I, and the vast majority of people who have responded to it, understand that to mean to get rid of something. I have learned that, in different occupations and parts of the culture, 86 means different things. To President Trump, it was taken as something sinister – to want someone dead. Or consider the term “bless your heart”; until I met people from the Southern US, I thought that was a nice thing to say, not an insult. Is it possible that we have become so thin-skinned and defensive that we have stopped trying to understand one another? It is also possible that we might be better off if we listened and asked questions instead of taking offense? My way is not the only way, or even always the best way, to do or say things; maybe we would all get along better if we spent more time trying to understand and less time playing gotcha.
There are some insults and words that are universally understood as demeaning to others based on race, religion, or gender, and we all know what those words are. We all should know by now that “from the river to the sea” is a term used for genocide and the destruction of Israel. The rest of it, though, is part of our diversity. I grew up with soda but learned that some people call it pop when I went to college in Ohio. They also call paper bags sacks. Some Italians call that stuff you put on pasta gravy; I call it sauce. Have we grown so self-centered and ignorant that we truly believe that our way is the only way? That’s what immature people do; we all need to grow up and listen to one another. We might learn a thing or two.
Prayer – God, we thank You for the amazing diversity in our world, but we all need to be open to learning about one another. Amen.
Today’s art is a famous mural in Bangkok about diversity.