I have written a number of these essays recently about the danger women face every day at the hands of men, and every time I do, I come across another story – another video – another preacher – reminding me that all of us need to be honest about these threats women encounter everywhere they go. I have also thought a lot about my derisive comments about evangelical men choosing to work out at all-male gyms, so they aren’t enticed by the siren songs of women in tight clothing (I’m being sarcastic) and have come to realize that this may be one of the ways we can keep women safer. Any man who feels threatened by someone’s attire needs to be kept away from them; at least, until those men can grow up enough to handle their own emotions and physical urges. We need to do more to help women and children to stay alive.
It may be that we need to rethink the way we allow men to be in the presence of women and children. It may be that we need better laws to keep guns out of the hands of immature men. Maybe someone can develop a test that would allow us to measure male readiness to interact with people with less anger and more empathy, since it is men who overwhelmingly cause the problems of the world. As I am writing this, I realize that some of it is tongue in cheek; but some of it isn’t. I think about all the times I have heard men say that women are “too emotional” to be in seats of power – then I think back to some of the political debates or congressional hearings I have witnessed. I have no problem with showing emotion; my problem is how we as men are not taught to handle and express our emotions in healthy ways. Because of those limitations, we often lash out inappropriately, hurting innocent people.
This isn’t hyperbole; this is my plea to men to figure out how to deal with life’s struggles in more healthy and mature ways. I know that I wasn’t taught how to work through my emotions in healthy ways, and it led me to do things I regretted. I was taught to use my anger in sports, but I wasn’t taught how to work through that same anger in my relationships. We do men a disservice when we allow them to grow up with immature and undeveloped ways of handling emotion. We hand them responsibilities without making sure they are ready. Meanwhile, women, children, and other men are injured and killed at the hands of unsteady and emotionally infantile men. If we want a safer world where we can stay alive, we need to do better at giving men the tools that keep them and others safer. Staying alive matters, and men need help.
Prayer – Holy God, You have made us as amazing beings, but we are not done yet. Help us to grow up better. Amen.
Today’s art is “Maturity” by Natalie Holland.