When I was the Chaplain at Albright College, I tried to have Sunday morning worship for the first semester; it was a total failure. I knew that it would probably crash and burn, but I had to try. After that, I did an afternoon service, which was a little better. Not having a commitment in the AM allowed me to visit different congregations around our county, and I learned a lot about the church from the outside; not much of it was all that great. The most valuable lesson I learned was that being a welcoming place wasn’t hard to do and is essential to the life of the congregation. To say those simple words – you are welcome here – made all the difference in the world, and it rarely happened.
What did happen? We would walk in and get stared at by people milling about before church started. We would be handed a bulletin by someone talking to other people; they were too busy to make eye contact, I guess. We would sit in the back with our fidgety young children for the entire service, only to find out that there was childcare available the whole time. After the service, someone might come up to me and tell me I should join the choir (I’m much louder than my wife – she’s an excellent singer too). I am sure that came from a place of kindness, but all it told me was that they were interested in what I could do for them. Rarely did we hear words of welcome or acceptance; we mostly got ignored.
Recent studies have been telling us that Americans are in a decade’s long epidemic of loneliness (The World’s Biggest Study on Loneliness | Psychology Today), and we in the church have probably contributed to that epidemic. We often ignore people or love bomb them; neither one makes people feel welcome. Most people who visit a church want to check it out – they want to see how people respond, what the preaching and music are like if the place has a feeling of warmth. They want the option to not return if the congregation doesn’t fit their need, so harassing them with complicated sign-in processes doesn’t help them. It isn’t that hard to show people that they are welcome; go up and say, “Hi, my name is Steve (or you can use your name); welcome to our church. If you need anything, please ask.” My practice is to ask for their information if they return; pressuring them the first time they show up almost guarantees that they won’t come back.
Like the “Cheers” theme song, we need to recognize that people want to be where others are glad they came. They want to be welcomed kindly – given directions to the bathrooms – invited for coffee after – shown that they are seen. And if they are members who haven’t been there in a while, remind them of that at your peril. Don’t say, “Oh my God! The walls might fall in!” (Yes – I have heard people say that). Do say, “It is so great to see you here – have a bulletin.” Most of all, let people know they are welcome – that you are glad they came – that you want to know their name – that you hope they come back. Maybe, together, we can chip away at this epidemic of loneliness with God’s love. And ours. It isn’t rocket science. It’s just being a human.
Prayer – Holy God, You have welcomed us into Your world and we can welcome others. Remind us of what matters to us, so we can do what matters to others. Amen.