We can blame the Greeks, mostly, although English writers are the ones who put the term into our common lexicon. The idea that “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder” is a seemingly harmless phrase, one that is often used with little thought given to its impact. Used since at least the 3rd century, BCE, it was popularized in the 16th century by both Shakespeare and John Lyly, reconfigured by Benjamin Franklin and David Hume in the 1740’s, and, finally, written as we know it by Margaret Wolfe (Hamilton) Hungerford in 1878. All of these writers saw the implicit danger of seeking affirmation from others first, and the idea continued as a theme through countless Disney princess movies, children’s stories, and the media today. To love oneself, especially if you are female, was often predicated on whether others love you first. Kudos to people like Lizzo who are fighting against our shallow definitions of beauty.
The discussion continues; unrealistic expectations and biased opinions about what constitutes “beauty” often dominate discussions between parents and children and peers on the internet. Childhood stories like the Ugly Duckling teach us that while beauty is subjective, it is incredibly important to be accepted in society. And yes, we are wired to judge books by their covers; our visual encounters often guide how we approach situations in life. If we see someone who we deem to look dangerous, we cross the street to avoid what might be a bad situation. Still, our preoccupation with what we subjectively consider to be beautiful places incredible stress on us, and we spend a gazillion dollars every year to try to fit into how the culture defines beauty.
From a God point of view, we are all beautiful. Sounds simple enough, but it is, ultimately, one of the few real truths in life. There is no normal (remember, it’s just a setting on the dryer) – there is no common or regular – every single person is created in the image and glory of God. Whether a person has 6 toes or two heads, every person born into this world is amazing. We like to standardize and categorize – usually in line with our own appearance – what is beautiful, but, as Hume wrote, “Beauty in things exists merely in the mind which contemplates them.” The opinions of others matter in important ways, but not in this one. We all give into the shallowness of popular culture to some extent, and we tend to stare and snicker at those who we think don’t, which may be the best test of where we are on this. Good theology invites the people who are different from us to sit at the table. Bad theology creates rules that categorize and limit expression. Good theology embraces all kinds of beauty; Bad theology shames us for the way God made us. Good theology opens our hearts and minds; bad theology closes our doors and rejects people.
I will probably never completely free myself from my personal biases, but I am trying. Good theology believes that we can all evolve and grow up; Bad theology stifles that growth. Are you a good theologian, or a bad theologian?
Prayer – Help us to understand, God, that we are expected to grow into Your likeness, which means we have to grow up and mature in the ways we treat each other. Amen.