When I began in the ministry, I was told two lies. The first was that I shouldn’t change anything in the church, including worship, until I had been there a year. Gain their trust, I was told, then change what needed changing. I ignored this advice because I felt that saying everything was great for a year and then changing it would be the same as lying to them. Every congregation needs some things to be changed and some things to stay the same because none of them have reached perfection. The second lie I was told was that if I did stuff for people – weddings, baptisms, etc. – it would be a way of bringing them into the church and closer to God. It may be true that this has worked in some rare cases, but my experience is that it almost never does. We just become one more commodity that people pay for; I become their employee, not their pastor. By the way, for those who have been damaged by religion and so-called religious people, this isn’t about you.
The Protestant Reformation came to be, in part, out of a deep concern about commodifying God. Selling indulgences was, basically, selling rites and sacraments for money. And while it was not as widespread as our church history classes tried to convince us it was, it was still a problem, and it continues today. If you aren’t married in the church, some denominations will tell you, your marriage isn’t valid in the eyes of God (which is nonsense). If you aren’t baptized in our church, you won’t go to heaven (more nonsense). Pay to play has always been our practice, and it does nothing more than make people upset with us. For many parents, Sunday school was babysitting; for an hour, they could have a little peace and quiet. You think I am kidding? Ask any pastor, and they will probably agree. For years I watched parents drop their kids off and drive off for a bagel with a schmear and a cup of coffee. Or they ditch us entirely for kid’s sports as dreams of college scholarships dance in their heads.
I think that the monetization of our religion has hurt us far more than it has helped us. This is one of the reasons I don’t take money for weddings; I have couples spend at least 6 months coming to worship rather than take their money. I am not ordained to do weddings; I am ordained to connect people with the community of faith and with God. I am called to tell the story of our faith, not make car payments from honorariums. To be clear, I can do this because my church pays me a good living wage. If they didn’t, I would probably be a minister for hire. For congregations that don’t pay their clergy enough to live on, shame on them! Most clergy who aren’t paid enough are part of the gig economy, and I don’t blame them for making a living to feed their families.
Ultimately, people prioritize their lives according to what matters the most to them. If you say you are a person of faith but spend more on pizza every week than you give to the ministry you say you love, you are telling me that you worship pizza more than God. If you choose to spend your Sunday morning (or Friday/Saturday) in bed watching the news or cartoons, you have told me where your faith lies. We all have the freedom to choose how to spend our discretionary time (unless we are homebound or forced to work at those times), and our treasure, as Jesus said, is where our heart is. No amount of free giveaways will change that. When I joined the church as a 13-year-old, I promised to support the church with my time, money, prayers, and love; you probably did too. We do what matters most to us. Where do your priorities lie?
Prayer – Holy God, life is complicated, and there are a lot of choices. Help our congregations to become places of grace and welcome for those who are searching for You. Amen.
Today’s art is “Faithful” by Liezl Knoll.