In a really insightful and challenging article in Sojourners Magazine, Noah Berlatsky made this compelling argument: Protestants perpetuate a myth that a changed heart should be enough to forgive and forget. In fact, as in so many examples of forced forgiveness, we are shamed if we don’t give grace with full abandon. He used the examples of former Maine Senate candidate Graham Platner and Pres. Trump – not that Mr. Trump has ever confessed or atoned for anything (he said he doesn’t need to). Platner, who is an atheist, admitted that his Nazi tattoo was a mistake. He has also admitted to some of the sexual impropriety he has been accused of. For this, many Christians reasoned, he should be allowed to hold one of the highest offices in the land. The author – and I agree with him – wrote that one can change their heart and seek forgiveness, but that does not necessarily mean that they should then be given the key to the city. Forgiveness does not give anyone carte blanche to pursue anything they want to. Platner has shown that he consistently makes bad choices and does bad things. This is not a good look for someone with power.
It isn’t that I believe Mr. Platner – or Mr. Trump, for that matter – should be tossed into the fires of hell. That is not my job, nor do I want that responsibility. What I do believe is that some behaviors, regardless of the amount of confession, repentance, and atoning one does, should keep people out of certain areas of responsibility. This is why Megan’s Law exists, for example. Anyone who has raped or sexually assaulted a child should never be allowed to be in their presence, especially alone. For years I have argued that clergy who commit grave sexual sins should not be allowed to serve in that capacity. They should get help in any way possible, and they can be forgiven, but forgiveness does not mean forgetting. That is, I think, disrespectful towards the person who was harmed by the perpetrator’s behavior.
I think of prisoners who find God and then use that as a reason for early release. If they have truly found God, they would accept the punishment they received in full and then work the rest of their lives to make up for the damage they have done. People who cause significant damage to others should never be allowed to forget what they have done, because those who have been hurt by them never will either. This does not mean they are damned, and it does not mean that God will not forgive them. What it means is that their lives should include words and actions that work towards helping others in their healing. It includes finding healing themselves, and that process never ends. We can be forgiven, but we can never forget. I think that can keep us on the road to recovery.
Prayer – Holy God, help us all to remember the harm we have brought to others, so that we can continue to work towards healing ourselves and them. Amen.
Today’s art is “Atonement” by Thomas Fedro.