“Thank you for being such a blessing to me and my family.” This is what I said a week ago Friday to Kathy Bailey. And while we will say more as we celebrate her life and faithfulness this Saturday at Calvary, I wanted to think a little about what it means to be in the moment – to not wait until people are gone to say thank you. The life of a pastor’s family can be a lonely one; lots of expectations and commitments with little compassion in return. To many church people, we clergy are, as a professor of mine said in Seminary, often seen as paid Christians. And we are, in a sense; we do our best to lead by example, and while that is a privilege, it can also be a burden. People like Kathy make our vocation easier on us and our families. So, before she left this earthly dwelling, I thanked her.
I did this three days before she died, and although she was not always totally aware of what I was saying, she stopped and said, “I never thought I would hear anyone say that to me.” Then we went on to another topic, but I felt good about saying it in that moment. It reminded me that we need to say it now – we shouldn’t wait. We need to be thankful in the moment – we need to tell people now what we will say about them after they die – we need to let others know just how much they have blessed our lives. I personally began to understand this about 25 years ago; I woke up one morning having dreamt about a friend, so I called him to check in. It turned out that he was going through a very serious physical issue and was feeling very alone in the process. Since then, when I think of someone, I call them. Not tomorrow or next week – now. I try really hard to say it now.
Say I love you – now. Say you mean the world to me – now. Ask how things are really, actually, truly going – now. We are really good at the “hey, what’s up?” pass by, but not at the deeper, more pointed acts of concern. I think that this is what is, in part, contributing to our epidemic of loneliness – we don’t want to be a burden – we don’t want to get too close – we don’t want to be rejected. But we need each other – now. That person you haven’t seen in church? Maybe they are going through something difficult. That neighbor who hasn’t been outside in a while? Maybe something bad happened to them. Say it now – reach out now – make the phone call now. Tell people how much they mean to you. It isn’t morbid to say that today might be our last chance to do this – it is reality. Don’t leave things unsaid – say it now.
Prayer – Holy God, thank You for giving us this life to share, and give us the courage to say thank you -now. Amen.
Today’s art is “Gratitude” by Wendy Meades.