I think that Benson Boone is one of the best new artists in music. His voice, presence, and songs are really engaging – and he does backflips off of pianos! But – as I was listening to one of his biggest hits, I was reminded why bad theology is a dangerous thing. In the song, “Beautiful Things”, he recounts how he has struggled in his life, and how things are getting better for him. Then, this line, “And I thank God every day, For the girl He sent my way. But I know the things He gives me He can take away.” This is not an uncommon idea, that God sends or gives us the ones we love; and that God takes people away from us. But, No. I thank God every day for my wife and our children that we both love, but I don’t believe that God manipulated our lives so that we would marry each other. I don’t believe that she is the only one for me or me for her. Don’t get me wrong – I am ecstatic that we found each other. But did God make this happen? Again – No.
In the next stanza, Benson sings, “But there’s no man as terrified as the man who stands to lose you. Oh, I hope I don’t lose you.” And this is just one of the problems with this theology. What happens if your love dies? Or your relationship changes and you divorce? And why would anyone live in constant fear that God will, for no discernable reason, take your most precious relationship away? This idea is ancient, going back to the panoply of gods who were arbitrary and capricious. They did things to humans just – because. To make a joke or to punish or to just see what would happen. The gods were chaotic and unpredictable, and humans were their playthings. I cannot believe in a God who would toy with us in such immature ways; God is love, and love doesn’t behave that way.
We have free will – yes, this again – and while we are not totally in control of our lives (chaos is real, and other people have free will too), we do have rights. Losing someone we love is always tragic, but it isn’t God or fate or destiny making that happen. Sometimes, #$%^ happens. Sometimes, we mess up. Sometimes, we change or grow and move apart. Relationships aren’t “meant to be”; they take work and commitment, and sometimes, even our best attempts can’t keep us together. God doesn’t have a particular date in mind for us to die; God doesn’t move us around like chess pieces – God isn’t cruel or insensitive or indifferent. We can only do our best, and we can only answer for ourselves. We can seek guidance in Scripture and prayer and from trusted friends. And then we live, and God goes through life with us, encouraging us and comforting us and giving us strength. So, do your best – and may God be with you.
Prayer – We are so thankful to You, Holy God, for being present as we move through life together. Thank You. Amen.
Today’s art is “Freedom” by Ira Whittaker.