I saw a meme this week that said, “If a drunk, almost passed out man ended up in a room with 7 women, they would get him some clothes, give him some tea, put him to bed, and make sure he was safe.” As the discussion continues around the world – and this is a worldwide problem – more voices speak up to once again tell us what any sane person should know – women living in fear of men is a man problem. Nothing else. Men are the problem. A drunk, naked woman could be walking in the middle of the street, and she shouldn’t have to be afraid of being assaulted. It doesn’t matter how she got there or what the circumstances are; the response of those around her should be to get her covered up, give her some tea, put her to bed, and make sure she’s safe.
But this isn’t what would happen every time, is it? I wouldn’t dare to put a percentage on it, but from the responses I have seen from some men – and some women as well – are the same ignorant responses I have heard my entire life. It’s the reason so many assaults don’t get reported, or that there is a delay in that reporting. It’s the reason women don’t trust the system to bring about justice. It’s the reason women are often afraid to be alone anywhere. Men are the problem. Men. Not women – not their clothes – not their behavior – not their upbringing or attitude or morals – Men. Like those pie charts I see everywhere – Men are 100% responsible for sexual assault. Even the Bible blames women! Consider the story of Lot and his daughters after the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah in Genesis 19; it’s the women who are blamed for what happened next.
As a man, I am disgusted by men who don’t understand this. I am disgusted by the way so many men in leadership dismiss this problem, just like so many men before them. This problem always has been, and always will be, a man problem; unless we decide to make sure it isn’t. Women should be responsible for themselves, just like men. But until men do their part, and step in when infants pretending to be men don’t behave like adults, this will continue. Women and girls and the people who love them will have their lives shattered again and again by male privilege – unless the rest of us grow up and step up. Let’s stop raising boys who never grow up. That, my friends, is a man problem too.
Prayer – Holy God, forgive us for not being mature enough to raise boys to be real men. It’s our fault. Amen.
Today’s art is “Lot and His Daughters” by Jan Massys. Disgusting.